THE IMPACT OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

THE IMPACT OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE IS ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS. THERE ISN'T A SINGLE RELATIONSHIP THAT IT DOESN'T IMPACT ON!

THE BIGGEST IMPACT IS ON TRUST. IF YOU CAN'T TRUST HOW CAN YOU MAINTAIN A RELATIONSHIP? YOU EITHER AVOID THEM, SABOTAGE THE GOOD ONE'S YOU DO HAVE OR FIND YOURSELF IN DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIPS WHICH RE-VICTIMIZE YOU. ************************************************************************************************************** The long-term effects of child sexual abuse CFCA Paper No. 11 – January 2013 This is a very good paper published by the Australian Institute of Family Studies, which you can access on the following link: https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/long-term-effects-child-sexual-abuse/introduction ************************************************************************************************************** THIS IS WHAT THE PAPER HAS TO SAY ABOUT THE IMPACT OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS ############################################################################## «««««Interpersonal outcomes»»»»» There is increasing evidence that children who have been abused, and in particular sexually abused, have greater difficulties with interpersonal relationships and especially trust compared with non-abused individuals. Given the betrayal of trust and violation of personal boundaries involved in child sexual victimisation, this is not surprising. In addition, the secrecy and often the fear of exposure creates a sense of shame, guilt and confusion that disrupts the child's "internal working model" according to which we all interpret the world. This affects how children and then adults understand and construe the motives and behaviours of others, and how they handle stressful life events. Medical and neurobiological research is throwing new light on the mechanisms underlying atypical and over-reactive stress reactions (see below). ############################################################################## «««««Intimate relationships and parenting»»»»» There is some evidence for greater difficulties in interpersonal and particularly intimate relationships among adults who were sexually abused in childhood. These include increased instability in relationships, more sexual partners, an increased risk of sexual problems and greater negativity towards partners (Isley, Isley, Freiburger, & McMackin, 2008; Roberts, O'Connor, Dunn, Golding, & ALSPAC Study Team, 2004). Qualitative research including reports from women, indicates that pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood can trigger difficulties, emotional distress and lack of confidence and self-esteem (Sperlich & Seng, 2008). In a large-scale longitudinal prospective study in England, the Avon Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children, Roberts et al. (2004) reported that after adjusting for other childhood adversities, child sexual abuse was associated with "poorer psychological well-being, teenage pregnancy, parenting behaviours, and adjustment problems" (p.525) in their own children. The mothers' anxiety and lack of confidence in parenting mediated the association between child sexual abuse and the perceived quality of their relationships with their own children and their children's adjustment. In a smaller US study, the association between child sexual abuse and parenting outcomes (including parental stress, feelings of competence and discipline strategies) disappeared after accounting for the mother's depression and the current partner's violence (Schuetze & Das Eiden, 2005). There is little research concerning fathering after childhood sexual abuse, but sufficient to indicate significant concerns among such fathers in relation to them being over-protective, nervous about physical contact with their children, and being fearful of becoming abusers themselves (Price-Robertson, 2012a). Fatherhood for some may be a "healing experience", but for others it may represent "a catalyst for the resurfacing of trauma" (Price-Robertson, 2012a, p. 4). The implications are for appropriate awareness and sensitive support and services for these men. ############################################################################# «««««Re-victimisation of child sexual abuse victims»»»»» A large body of research has focused on the relationship between sexual victimisation in childhood and later "re-victimisation" in adolescence and adulthood. The research in this area has expanded its conception of re-victimisation from an initial narrow focus on the risk of future sexual assault (Shields & Hanneke, 1988; Wyatt et al., 1992; Stevenson & Gajarsky, 1991) to include a range of different types of traumas and victimisation experiences across a child victim's lifetime (Banyard et al., 2001). Research in this area has used college and community samples as well as specialised (e.g., psychiatric inpatients, outpatients and incest group members) or convenience samples (Widom, Czaja, & Dutton, 2008). Most studies have used cross-sectional and retrospective designs; very few studies have examined the risk of re-victimisation longitudinally. There has also been little attention to possible gender differences in re-victimisation. Some earlier studies reported no association between child sexual abuse and the risk of later victimisation (Briere & Runtz, 1987; Mandoki & Burkhart, 1989). More recently, Widom et al. (2008) examined the relationship between child abuse and neglect (including child sexual abuse) and re-victimisation, in one of the few large-scale prospective long-term studies. Spanning a wide range of traumatic and victimisation experiences, this study found that victims of multiple forms of childhood abuse and neglect were most at risk of lifetime traumas and re-victimisation experiences. Victims of child sexual abuse (in the absence of other forms of abuse or neglect) were only marginally at greater risk of re-victimisation compared with a comparison group and were not at any greater risk of re-victimisation compared with victims of other types of childhood abuse and neglect. This study also specifically examined the effect of gender on the risk of re-victimisation, reporting that overall women with a history of childhood abuse were more likely to experience trauma and re-victimisation in adulthood. However, when it comes to sexual re-victimisation specifically, although both genders were at greater risk compared with the comparison group, the risk was significantly stronger for men with a history of childhood abuse and neglect.7 Overwhelmingly, however, the findings of other research suggest that victims of child sexual abuse are generally at an increased risk of re-victimisation.

THIS IS ME, AGED 16. THIS IS THE CHILD THAT CONRAD ABUSED

It's easy to forget when you come across historical accounts of child sexual abuse and you see an image of the adult survivor that the crime was not perpetrated against the adult you see now but the child the adult once was. ********************************************************* IF YOU WERE ABUSED BY CONRAD MAINWARING OR YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION THAT WOULD BE OF INTEREST TO THE POLICE, GO TO THE POLICE NOW! ********************************************************* OR, IF YOU WANT TO CONTACT ME IN PRIVATE, PLEASE SEND ME AN EMAIL AT: 'stopconrad@outlook.com'

ONE IN SIX - KEY FACTS

I've borrowed these facts from the 1in6 website. It's very important that any boy or man who has been sexually abused reads and understands these key facts. Why, when someone is abused are they left with all the guilt and shame and tend to believe that, somehow, they are responsible for the abuse? We are not! The responsibility, the guilt, the shame belongs to the abuser, who perpetrated this vile crime. We need to give these back to the abuser, where they belong! Please check out the 1in6 website. There is lots of good information for victims and friends and families of victims. If you live in the USA, this is the website for you. Start your journey from 'victim' to 'survivor' to 'thriver' today and begin to take the power back! I'm not a fan of labels, they tends to dehumanise and depersonalise us but, hopefully, you get the idea. We are, actually, people like anyone else who just happen to be abused as children. We are just as capable as anyone else. In fact, by surviving such experiences we are stronger, more compassionate and more wiser than most! ************************************************************************************************************* KEY FACTS: • Boys and men can be sexually used or abused, and it has nothing to do with how masculine they are. • If a boy liked the attention he was getting, or got sexually aroused during abuse, or even sometimes wanted the attention or sexual contact, this does not mean he wanted or liked being manipulated or abused, or that any part of what happened, in any way, was his responsibility or fault. • Sexual abuse harms boys and girls in ways that are similar and different, but equally harmful. • The sexual abuse of boys has nothing to do with an abuser’s sexual orientation. • A boy abused by a male is not necessarily gay, nor was he abused because he’s gay, nor can the abuse make him gay. • Girls and women can sexually abuse boys. The boys are not “lucky,” but exploited and harmed. • Most boys who are sexually abused will not go on to sexually abuse others.

IT IS CONRAD'S BIRTHDAY TODAY

This is a very significant day for me as it is Conrad's birthday, the day my abuser was born. I wonder sometimes what makes a person turn out like this? I guess we will never know. What I do know is that unlike other European countries and the USA, the UK has no statute of limitations applying to serious sexual crimes and I will do everything I can to bring him back to the UK to face me in a criminal court. My justice can be your justice! If you are a victim of Conrad and you live in the USA and under the statute of limitations in your state, he cannot be brought to justice there then help me to bring him back to the UK to face justice in the British Courts. If you are prepared to make a statement that can be used in the British Courts then please contact me at stopconrad@outlook.com. I am a lone voice in the UK, though I doubt I am his only victim here, so I need your help!

I took the photograph myself whilst on holiday this summer in North Wales. This represents me standing alone all these years, strong but damaged and the rainbow in the background represents the 'light' as the lighthouse had it's light distinguished years ago, like me, by Conrad. Those that stand with me are my light and my hope. Together, united by our pasts, we can be strong together. We can take the 'light' back that Conrad stole from us all those years ago! I WILL KEEP ON FIGHTING FOR JUSTICE, NOT JUST FOR ME BUT FOR EVERYONE..