BREAKTHROUGH MOMENT!

I was so grateful to make contact over the weekend with 2 fellow victims of Conrad Mainwaring and to actually speak to one of them on the phone. Thank you so much for reaching out to me and contacting me. Even though I know now what Conrad did to me was wrong, it took me such a long time to see it for what it really was, SEXUAL ABUSE OF A MINOR. Conrad was such a master manipulator, that even when, years later, I came to realise that what he did to me was wrong, I still made excuses for him. Without Conrad, I might never have become a runner and later a cyclist and triathlete, competing at an elite level. I always told myself that I have so much to thank him for that, perhaps, the abuse was the price I had to pay. Right up to this weekend, I still, at some level, wanted to believe that I really mattered to Conrad, and that is why he chose me, because I was special. Well I learned this weekend from the 2 people who contacted me that Conrad had admitted to them that there was no special training, study or master plan, and he was just molesting and manipulating us, pure and simple. This has really helped me to see things much more clearly. Conrad had no interest in us whatsoever apart from using us for his own ends. I realise now that we meant nothing to him. With this realisation, I took my dog out for a walk on Saturday night. I was listening to Cyndi Lauper 'True Colours', on my headphones. I find the words to this song, especially moving and when I play it I always pay attention to them. I suddenly started shaking, tears filled my eyes and then started to roll down my cheeks, my crying turned into wailing. Jodie, my beautiful Rough Collie (Lassie dog) jumped up and licked my face/tears away. The tears stopped flowing and I suddenly felt at peace. It was like this bit of Conrad that had remained inside me for all these years had finally been exorcised! Healing is a long process and breakthroughs can occur quite unexpectedly. This breakthrough would not have happened if it wasn't for the courage of those who were prepared to share their experiences with me. Together, we are stronger than any Conrad, and this new strength that I have gained makes me even more determined to get JUSTICE, especially for those who are no longer with us like Victor! These are the lyrics to the song below: You with the sad eyes don't be discouraged oh I realize it's hard to take courage in a world full of people you can lose sight of it all and the darkness all inside you make you feel so small But I see your true colors shining through I see your true colors and that's why I love you so don't be afraid to let them show your true colors true colors are beautiful like a rainbow Show me a smile then don't be unhappy can't remember when I last saw you laughing if this world makes you crazy and you're taking all you can bear you call me up because you know I'll be there And I see your true colors shining through I see your true colors and that's why I love you so don't be afraid to let them show your true colors your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow If this world makes you crazy you're taking all you can bear you call me up because you know I'll be there And I see your true colors shining through I see your true colors and that's why I love you so don't be afraid to let them show your true colors true colors true colors are shining through I see your true colors and that's why I love you so don't be afraid to let them show your true colors true colors are beautiful like a rainbow